so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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