we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
