she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize