He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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