he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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