And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
