I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
