Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
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