I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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