You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
