i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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