Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
