I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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