What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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