I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
