we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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