I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
