ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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