They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
