"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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