Already got asked if we're dating
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize