You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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