No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
