Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Acid is not a monday night drug
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
