Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
