so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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