i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
