I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Randomize
