gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
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