So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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