What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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