I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
