Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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