Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
