Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Randomize
