Porn is love you can see.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
