Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize