I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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