i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
