if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
