Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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