okay pat passed out under dana's car
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
