I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
