Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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