so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
