It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
