My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
