she's into porn, im staying here tonight
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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