I want to stick my p in your. b.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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