It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize