South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
