fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
