Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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