dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I am mentally ready for anal.
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