brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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