No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
