I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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