For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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