Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize