I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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