Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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