We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize