But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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