whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
