after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
