Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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