and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
