Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
