it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
