His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize