Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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