He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize