I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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